"Ma'am, I'd like to bless your day."

Maybe a month or so ago I received an email from our school district. It was an invitation about several school/community discussions at my son’s school on the issues of race and equality. The invitation had dates and times for families of color and dates and times for families not of color. I read it and thought hmmm? Which would include our family? I showed it to my son and asked him if he would like to participate? His response surprised me, “They are so stupid.” He seldom shows strong emotion. That invitation bothered him. He mumbled a few other words and then made it clear to me, “No, I do not want to participate.” He didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I didn’t mention it again. But I have thought about it since. Some things are difficult. Some issues are sensitive no matter how pure your intentions are. I never set out to be an adoptive family. I didn’t really have a plan except that I love God and I wanted to do what His word says I should do. I also love children. My life experiences have made me especially sensitive to children that have unmet needs. So fostering seemed like a natural choice for me and my family. I truly believe God has blessed our journey but it still has difficulties. I know that several of my black children’s parents did not want them in a white family. They told me so. I have been referred to in court as pink skinned, pink pig, you people, and them. It didn’t make me feel offended. I felt sad and they were probably hurt and sad too. Over time we were able to form positive relationships with my children’s families. All of my adopted children’s mothers asked us to adopt their children. It was their choice and we agreed to do so. It still makes me sad at times. I wonder what I can do better? What should I say? Are my children going to struggle because of our physical differences? Will love be enough? Honestly I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how our family’s story plays out.

Today I read this quote from Bob Goff, “We’re God’s plan, and we always have been. We aren’t just supposed to be observers, listeners, or have a bunch of opinions. We’re not here to let everyone know what we agree and don’t agree with, because, frankly, who cares? Tell me about the God you love; tell me about what He has inspired uniquely in you; tell me about what you’re going to do about it, and a plan for your life will be pretty easy to figure out from there. I guess what I’m saying is that most of us don’t get an audible plan for our lives. It’s way better than that. We get to be God’s plan for the world by pointing people towards Him.”

Show love to each other. Be kind. Acknowledge each other’s differences and experiences. Be respectful.

Yesterday, I was at Wegman’s shopping with my girls. They were each picking out some things for their weekend with Bailey and Alyssa. JJ wanted candy and lots of it! I told her that we needed to pick healthy treats to avoid being hyper🤩. I noticed a black man watching us. Through his masked faced, his eyes seemed to enjoy listening to my candy addicted daughter’s attempts to talk me into, “lots of candy!” But I wasn’t sure because I couldn’t see his whole face. A little of me felt insecure. Was he wondering why she had a white mom? Did he disapprove? My insecurities got the best of me. We started to check out and he got behind us in line. JJ continued pointing out all the candy at her eye level. The man got my attention to say, “Excuse me, ma’am, I would like to bless your day and pay for your groceries.” And he did just that❤️.

God is such a good father to me. He used that man yesterday to send me a message. We are all God’s people. Love each other!!! Stop worrying. Focus on Him.

Jill