His Abounding Love

One of my sons is getting married in a few days. I have been daydreaming about making an awesome toast to honor him and his new bride. Then it hit me - I don’t even know if I will get that chance. I got this website - so why not here?

He was meek and easy. His heart for others is so good that it’s shocking. He has been a good boy since he was conceived. He did pout a little like his dad.

Jill was wicked sick during her pregnancy with our third son. With a feeding tube and zero energy she was too weak to care for our three year old son so I had to sign him up for preschool/daycare. I got him ready the first day and went to drop him off. He was so sad and lifeless as I attempted to leave him - I just couldn’t do it. He had this broken look of loss and sadness that crushed me. It felt like I would be damaging him for life. It was terrible. Our neighbor had offered to watch him so I took him there.

I remember when the other team would score, he would collapse to his knees with his head buried in the grass disappointed and sad. He had that same face of depression. As his father, the coach, it wasn’t my favorite thing in the moment, as I had to go pull his lifeless body up off of the ground and say something that would not harm us all, but I have nothing but positive thoughts about these times. It was part of his meek and gentle personality, which marks him as one of the finest young men you will ever meet. That may sound like a very subjective father’s hyperbole but it’s no lie. His genuine kindness for others is quite unique. May it never go to his head. As I write this I can’t help but think - if it does go to his head he’s really not as awesome as he would seem. So, I doubt that will ever be his undoing.

I remember when his mother was upset about something and he kindly and gently corrected her and helped her understand that it was not Biblical nor Christlike. It was a sweet moment of awesome to see that maturity in our son.

I cherish the lessons I have learned from him and his brothers. I may have gleaned more from them then they have from me.

The countless challenges and disruptions he and his brothers have not only tolerated but embraced over our years of foster and adoption demonstrate their character. He loves all of his brothers and sisters, regardless of who their biological parents are, and they all love him.

If I had the time, I would tell him a few things in front of everyone before the toast...

Stay away from smut and other intoxications. They keep us from being genuine.

Know what healthy is for you and never stray more than 2.5% in either direction.

Wash all your parts - every time.

Always be a gentleman.

Take care of your sweet mom as she grows old. She deserves far more than the daily hotdog and ice cream that I am hoping for.

Never let them know where your goat is tied.

Leaders may read and readers may lead but some readers should not be followed anywhere.

Responsibility without authority is brutal.

We are not grasshoppers.

It’s never, ever, ever ok to be a jerk. If and when you are a jerk - make it right, especially with your wife and children.

Strive for “a spirit of excellence with a sense of urgency.” Your brother coined that sweet phrase and I use it daily.

If you have any say in leadership teams - surround yourself with internally motivated folks. (Figuring out what that means is well worth your time.)

Some things are “about as worthless as boobs on a boar hog.”

Everything is either sacred or profane. Don’t try to refine things any further.

We’re all one foolish decision away from failure.

The best wisdom is gleaned from saints who have suffered.

Humility is paramount to everything God wants you to be - your relationship with Him and your relationships with everyone else. Don’t ever let your pride fool you. You are not always right. When you are right be cool about it. Bragging about yourself is “vinegar to the teeth” and “smoke to the eyes” just like being lazy.

God speaks to us through His word. “Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God.” Take no shortcuts and make no excuses.

If you obey the Bible in everything, your marriage will be awesome for our Lord. You will be an awesome father. You will be an awesome minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Not in the likeness of man but after the similitude of Christ.

If you have to rationalize it - it’s probably no good.

Demonstrate the Gospel in everything.

No matter what the world says, the government says, or the church says - caring for the marginalized, the oppressed, widows and orphans is more a revelation of your heart than almost any other practical evidence you can think of. Selfless acts of love for those who cannot pay you back, cannot tithe, and cannot return the favor are indeed a measure of your unity with God. Be holy. Be righteous. Be Love. Be like God. A huge part of being just like Him is being a doer not just a hearer. Don’t just know the word of God - fulfill the word of God. Don’t be like most of us around you who have no idea what selfless love really is. We tend to “help people” until even the thought of the pain or the disruption of our lives causes us to retreat back to comfortable. Some of us are doing more than others but can you name anyone who actually sacrifices for others in a Christlike way? Be that someone. It is much easier to enjoy yourself comfortably but ask yourself, and more importantly ask God, “what should I be doing?”

It’s never our job to condemn anyone, ever.

Don’t fall in to the trap of minimal service to look good. After the paid hours end - what are we doing? Don’t read the Bible daily, study the Bible, and teach the Bible then freeze like a deer in headlights when work shows up. Be a Biblicist. Don’t just spew truth to be seen of men. Don’t strive to be an effective teacher yet a hypocrite because we’re selfish with our personal time. Strive to be a complete child of our Lord.

John “Don’t waste your life.” Piper used to drive me crazy. I hated his condescending attitude towards those not enlightened the same way he was enlightened. I’m not really sure if it was him that made me dislike him or all of his snotty wannabe fanboys. I stayed away from him. Then I learned of his heart for the marginalized, the oppressed, the poor, the widow, and something happened in me. I respect him. He is born again. He opened his home to minister to others. He is more than a hearer. More than a popular preacher. More than a front man. He actually practices what he preaches. Mark that son.

Be a watchman and don’t worship men even if you are following them as they follow Christ. Remember, every profession has its thugs but we “never judge a worldview by its abusers.” Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life” even if there are charlatans getting rich by receiving widows’ mites.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25) This is not optional. Wives don’t like lukewarm any more than God does.

I like this passage of scripture. It may be my favorite. It helps me think circumspectly, gives me a charge and reminds me of why I do what I do: “But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer. And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging. As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 4:7-11)

Our relationship with Jesus Christ is more important than anything else.

Pray, pray, pray without ceasing!

I may never get the opportunity to toast you publicly so, as we hold our glasses up together, you are Peter and Jill Farrell’s boy, you are a child of our King.

May your love for your bride be Christlike. Cherish her.

May you always be humble.

May the fruit of the Spirit ooze out of you all of the time.

May you never be a jerk.

May you ever live with a spirit of excellence and a sense of urgency.

May you draw nigh to God every day.

May you “love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength.”

May the rest of your book be written by the perfect will of our Lord.

“The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)

I’m working on a song to honor you like Adam Sandler’s “A song about Elmo.” Your mother says others may not think it is as entertaining as you and I. We’ll see.

In my Bible reading this morning I read one of my handwritten notes in the margin, “We need you Lord. Not worth moving if you are not leading.” Wait on the Lord son.

Dad